Why Can’t It Be? 23

Chapter 23

“Why exactly are we standing in this line?” he had to ask as he joined her in line for what was probably the most hated ride in the history of amusement parks.

“I just needed a break,” she admitted with a sigh as she reached over and relieved him of the cold drink that he’d purchased for her while he did his best to block out the music playing over the sound system that still had the power to make shudder with dread even after all these years.

“From…,” he prompted, taking back the cold soda and took a sip before he handed it back.

Sighing heavily, she looked off. “From everything.”

“That really narrows it down for me,” he said dryly, earning a mocking glare that had him smiling.

“I just needed a break from the glares, looks of pity and your mother asking me if I knew any nice men that might be interested in you or James,” she said with a shrug as the line came to stop.

He rubbed his hands roughly down his face. “My meddling mother.”

She nodded in agreement as the line started to move again.

For several minutes neither one of them said anything as they walked into companionable silence until finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and he had to ask.

“What do I need to do to fix this, Maya?”

She didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. “I don’t know that this can be fixed, Richard.”

“And why’s that?” he asked, placing his hands in his pockets to keep himself from grabbing her and shaking some sense into her.

“You know why,” she said, sounding sad and confirming his earlier opinion that she’d been put on this earth to drive him out of his mind.

“You’re turning this whole thing into one of those seriously fucked up Lifetime movies that you’ve got my brother addicted to, you know that, don’t you?”

“I am not!” she said, gasping in outrage as they walked around a turn and headed down a long slope.

“Oh, but you really are,” he said, not really caring at this point if he was pissing her off, because she was certainly doing a hell of a job of pissing him off.

“I am not!”

“Really?” he asked, arching a mocking brow. “Then what would you call this bullshit that you’ve been putting me through?”

“Trying to make sure that you didn’t throw your life away,” she grumbled with a scowl as she quickened her step and tried to

He rolled his eyes, not bothering to quicken his pace since there was nowhere for her go. “Yes, because marrying the woman that I’m madly in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with is throwing my life away,” he said dryly as he followed after her, noting the way that her shoulders went tense as she rounded another corner. “That bullshit line is getting old, Maya, so why don’t we get to the real reason why you’re willing to do something so fucked that you’re willing to risk your life?”

“I’m not risking my life,” she bit out, shooting him a murderous glare that said it all.

Once again, he was right and she  hated it.

“Really? Then what would you call putting off a surgery that you need so that you could take a bunch of drugs that have dangerous side effects and get off medication you need to slow down the tissue wrapping around your lungs on the off chance that you could find a doctor willing to do a procedure that doesn’t have a chance in hell of working?”

“You don’t know that,” she snapped, but the way that she couldn’t quite meet his eyes when she turned to glare at him told him that she knew that he was right.

Since he was on a roll and all, he decided to keep going.

“Don’t I? I thought that we’d already covered this. How exactly are going to do this without my help?”

“Look,” she said, “I get it. I can’t have children. I managed to accept it before and with some space, a little time and a lot of chocolate, I’ll be able to do it again,” she explained tightly just as she was forced to come to stop when they reached the loading line.

“How many?” a college kid with a big smile asked.

“One,” Maya snapped just as Richard said, “Two.”

Ignoring Maya, probably because the he sensed that Richard would have beat the shit out of him if he separated them, the kid gestured for them to go to the last loading line.

“You’ll never be able to accept it,” he pointed out as he got in line behind her.

“I did it before,” she snapped back, clearly getting pissed.

“No, you didn’t,” he said, never more sure of anything in his life.

“And you know this how?”

“Because I know you.”

“Clearly that’s not the case,” she said dryly as they waited for the boat full of passengers to unload so that they could get in.

“Really? Because I bet it is.”

“And I bet that you don’t know what you’re talking about,” she snapped back, keeping her back to him as she tapped her foot impatiently.

“Really? And how much are you willing to bet that I know the real reason behind this bullshit plan or yours and the one that you used to try and push me away.”

“I never tried to push you away!”

“What would you call the last six years, then?” he demanded in a whisper while they watched the boat finally come towards them and lock in place.

“Keeping my options open in case something better came along?”

Knowing that she was just trying to piss him off, he ignored her and decided to keep going. “You’ve never accepted it, because for some fucked up reason you think that not being able to have children somehow makes you less of a woman.”

He’d expected her to glare at him, to argue and deny it, but what he hadn’t expected was for her to suddenly climb out of the boat just as the boat started to enter the ride, leaving him sitting there with no other choice but to go through the ride alone.

~~~~~~~~

“I think it’s time that we got you tested for drugs, Maya,” Ryan said, sounding completely serious, which was understandable given the circumstances.

“Uh huh, I’ll get right on that,” she promised as she skimmed her fingers across the top of the stone enclosure that stopped the baby alligators from attacking her and tearing her apart.

“Have you told Richard what you’re doing?”

“It’s none of his business,” she said, darting her gaze from the baby alligator determined to climb the wall and make a snack of her hand to the man that she’d been avoiding since yesterday when she’d ditched his ass at the Small World ride.

“He’s your husband,” Ryan pointed out.

“I want to get this over with,” she said, feeling her chest tighten as she took in the sight of Richard sitting on the park bench, watching her with an expression that tore at her.

“Don’t do this, Maya.”

“I don’t want him to be there when they do this, Ryan,” she said, forcing herself to look away from Richard before she did something stupid.

“That’s not true and you know it.”

Sighing, she returned to running her hand absently along the top of the stone wall as she walked away, needing to put a little space between her and Richard’s knowing gaze. “Are you going to help me or what, Ryan?”

There was a slight pause before Ryan said, “I’m your brother and I love you, but I’m not going to help you do this. Whatever it is that you’re running from, stop before it’s too late. Tell Richard that they moved your surgery date up and let him come home with you.”

“I’m not running away from anything,” she bit out as she roughly wiped at her eyes when they began to tear up.

“Yes, you are,” the all-too familiar voice that always managed to make her feel safe and loved said as her phone was gently taken away from her.

“Go away, Richard,” she said weakly, fighting the urge to turn around and wrap her arms around him.

“Not until you answer my question,” he said as he reached around her and handed her the phone.

“Which is?”

“Do you love me enough to stop pushing me away?”

 

To be continued…

This is an adapted story.